Give criticism without hurting people's feelings while opening the relationship for constructive collaboration.

He was taught criticism had to tick two simple boxes. It had to be constructive, and it had to be criticism of an action or thing instead of a person.

But no one ever bothered to teach us how to criticize constructively— without making humans miserable. At least nobody ever taught me the secret.

What I didn’t get at the time was that my advice was not nearly as valuable to the receivers as I estimated in my mind.

My advice was totally unsolicited.

Radical Candor by Kim Scott — a book every “boss” should read.

After reading The Coaching Habit, I realized that the best criticism is criticism that doesn’t have to come out of your mouth, but ideally from the receiver of the criticism’s mouth.

• “What” questions drive exploration.
• “How” questions drive action.
• “Why” questions drive justification.
• “When” questions drive accountability.

Step 1: Set the stage, tone, and rules

While we dive deeper into ____, I may also say some stupid things that might make you feel like this bizarre person doesn’t know what the heck they’re talking about. I’d like to openly invite you to poke holes in my ideas whenever you can.
I’d love for this to be a space where we can collaboratively challenge each other’s thinking so that we can both leave this conversation with sharper thoughts.

Step 2: Ask curious “what” questions

Step 3: Ask “what else” questions

Step 4: Ask “how” questions

That’s excellent! How would you go about improving ____?

Step 5: Ask the first step question

That’s excellent! What would be the first tiny step to improve on ____?

6. Ask the “when”