Imagine my surprise when he called me into his office that day and admonished me for being too efficient. My zeal to do everything on my to-do list—along with my reserved, even shy nature—made me come across as abrupt and cold. I started every meeting by jumping right in and left with every action under control.

"You have to wallow in it," he said. "Take time to get to know people. Understand where they are coming from, what is important to them. Make sure they are with you."