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Want to Be a Better Listener? Take Lessons From a Chatbot. | WSJ

Bing spent more time acknowledging and validating people’s feelings. Humans typically responded by sharing a seemingly related experience from their own lives. Basically, the chatbots made the exchange about the person; the humans made it more about themselves.

Chatbots are effective in these situations not because of something they do that we can’t, but because of the mistakes humans make and they avoid. When we see someone is in pain, or when someone we care about shares a problem, we instinctively want to help. We offer advice, suggest solutions and rattle off how we once dealt with something similar.

When people adopt similar strategies, their connections strengthen. Consider “looping for understanding,” a technique in which a listener repeats what someone else says in their own words, then asks if their summary is correct—“Do I have that right?” Chatbots are natural loopers. When humans are taught to do the same, they do a better job of understanding what the other person is feeling and helping them feel heard.