The first major revelation for me was answering the second question: “where did it come from?” If you break down any given negative emotion, the answer to that question is always the same at the root: me. An external event may have triggered it, but it’s always me that generates a reaction, whether negative or positive.

But, maybe they’re lazy and just intentionally doing half-assed work. Even so, anger won’t help. Let’s find out why. Again, an honest, anger-free conversation will more effectively lead to a solution than letting the rage pour out. Even when the answer to all of these questions is unacceptable — they just did bad work — problems can be solved without letting them hurt us. Fire someone compassionately with a clear head and move on.