What we all get wrong about anger

My habit of judgmentalness was especially strong because it was also positively reinforced: In addition to the alleviation of boredom and disappointment, I also felt a swell of positive feeling while I was arguing and being judgmental. This was partly excitement—the thrill of the intellectual hunt!—but by far the largest positive emotion I experienced in these situations was good old-fashioned self-righteous anger.

Anger is typically the result of the following assessment about the world: Something is wrong. Now, if that were the end of the assessment, you’d expect to feel negative. But hidden between the lines of most assessments of injustice is an implied assessment of justice: Something is wrong… and I’m right!

Anger is a crutch that makes us passive

My argumentative judgmentalness and all the ego-boosting anger that resulted distracted me from a very real solution to my problem.

Your instinct may be to yell and get angry. It’s natural. But just because it’s “natural” doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.

“how much more harmful are the consequences of anger…than the circumstances that aroused them in us.”